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animeartistjoI've a lot to rant about it, and most of it mundane, but since my family doesn't share my conflicted feelings (my parents will call me a wuss), LJ is my purgery.
C, if you see this, it's a purge, okay? Bottled up anger and resentment. I just needed to get this all out. You know I'm not one to usually go on like this.
So last week, on Saturday, August 12, eighteen days before the lease to the apartment my friends and I were to stay in for the next year began, one of them (C) calls at around midnight, "Hey Jo, have you gotten Y's e-mail? She got accepted as an R.A. so she's backing out of the lease."
It was great. The intended apartment was a lovely place, quiet, upscale, and with two rooms. Perfect for three studious, quiet people--myself, my high school buddy, and my roommate last year--but much too pricey and spacious for only two. Y didn't even have to decency to call us by phone, using e-mail instead. Worse, she was my roommate and didn't even consult with us before accepting the last minute R.A. position. Wouldn't signing that lease be considered a prior commitment?
Her e-mail:
"I'll be sending over this message over on Gaia later just in case you've already checked Facebook for the day already, but here it is:
"Good news: Earlier today I was contacted by one of the people from the the RA selection commitee and they said they had a job opening as a community assistant over in Segundo which would include room and board just like a regular RA would.
"Bad news: My parents of course found out about it and decided that even though the financial perk of having free food and a place to stay was great, the real clincher was the fact that by taking this job I wouldn't have to commute and spend time on worrying about making my own food. In light of my worst grades ever last quarter, they argued that I should have as much time as possible to focus on studying and seeing as how CAs are only needed to plan events and not do all the RA work, they really pushed me to take the job.
"I really don't know how to phrase this any other way, but it looks like I won't be able to room with you guys at the Willows this year ;_; but we'll definitely have to visit each other lots! I'm really sorry about this. >.< We'll have to talk more later on how the lease thing is going to work out, but I just wanted to get this info to you guys early so that if you need to look for another roomie, you'd have as much time as possible to do it...
"I'm really sorry about this,
Me"
Really, she's 18! That means she's the one responsible, despite her parents being major players. Notice, also, her rather chevalier tone. "Sorry, guys, got a better deal so I was nice enough to let you know now so you can take care of everything, okay? Toodles!" It certainly raised the blood pressure of my family and C's parents, though C seemed pretty laid back about it all--but that's her general attitude towards life, methinks. ^^"
Transcript of our e-mails back and fourth:
I: "I'll be really sad about not seeing you as often, but no worries, you'll see me when ever I'm too lazy to cook. XDDD Or when I want to bug you. Or whenever I just want someone to fangirl with. ;D
On to the bearer of bad news... You signed a legally binding contract with us as a roommate, so that third of each month's rent you were going to pay? You still have to pay it even though you're not living in the Willows.
I know this is a lot of money, so my parents will be contacting your parents about this to hash it all out since I know you all will have arguments about it. That WAS a legal document with provisions and all that you signed. ^^"
At this point, I had thought she'd broken the contract, or something with some sort of consequence at least! Later on, it turns out that there was no protection clause to backing out of the lease before commencement. Like I e-mailed Y, "It's not just the financial situation but rather that you broke your word, your agreement with us that you would be living the 07-08 school year with us. It was that unspoken agreement and for the fact that you were our friend that I trusted you enough not to draw up another contract stating a guarantee that you would see out the lease or pay penalties.
"Y, even though your parents hold the checkbook, as the person who are affected by all these decisions and an adult of 18, you have responsibility as in this as well. That name on the lease you broke so late? It was yours.
"My family and I are not so much angry about the financial issues that arise from your last minute decision, but more about how you broke your word. You accepted the CA position, but that was AFTER you gave your word that you would be leasing with us. Usually, one would have turned down the new offer due to prior commitment. You didn't even speak to us before accepting the CA position, but after the fact--do you treat friends like this all the time? That hurts me.
"I realize how much power your parents have over you, but please Y, as an adult, you must have some say in matters. This was just to let you know about the emotional side of this business matter."
Everything's better, but only after I, my parents, C, and C's parents spent the weekend Y notified us about her change of plans, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday making a LOT of phone calls, worrying, e-mailing for roommates, and driving up to Davis and back. Initially, we planned to rent out the room which, from Y's carefree tone, the labor of finding one fell into our hands. Then plans changed, since C and I really didn't want a complete stranger living with us, and my Mom and I ended up calling various apartment complexes inquiring about any available one room apartments. I got lucky with the place I stayed in over the summer--which resulted in the car trip on Wednesday.
It was horrible, since I had to deal with my probation issue and Mom was on medical leave after the implant of her pace maker a few weeks previous. I had hoped to spend this last month before the lease begins and I return to school just spending time with the family.
What angered me more besides Y's lack of backbone, respect for C and I, and her light-hearted tone regarding this matter (she thought C and I qualified for financial aid when we are in the same fiscal situation), was that when this whole matter was resolved, not only must I return her portion of the deposit, but her family and she does not have to pay a single penny for all that C and I have been through. C and I, for our new lease, must pay another deposit while Y gets her deposit from the broken lease back AND a free dorm and meal plan package as an R.A. on campus this coming school year. Resentful, much?
I can remain friends with Y, for I know how spineless she is in the face of her parents, having lived with her the previous school year. Despite my parents' ire and wishes for me to sever all contact I'll try remain friends with her. Her father, on the other hand, I hope never to see again. He was a patronizing jerk who took advantage of Y, C, and my friendship, and the contract. My parents would never treat any of my friends as he has treated C and I. If I knew worse names to call him, I would. Bastard.
It was partly my fault, though. I trust too easily, thinking that if I treat others as I would myself, they would return the sentiments. It was the reason why I didn't draw up another contract to make sure Y, C, and I would follow through with the contract. I presumed that Y would decline the last minute R.A. position since she had actually signed the lease with C and I. She's not the most knowledgeable about business matters, so I believe it was her father who told her to take it and essentially gave C and I the finger.
This was a good life lesson for me, I guess. I've lived a sheltered life, knowing no emotional entanglements or such until now. I know better now, I hope.
Currently, my mother seeks arbitration of this issue. She wants, and I admit I do too, something in return. We both believe in karma, what goes around, comes around.
I'm actually writing down so I don't forget. I tend to do that repeat the same mistakes, unfortunately.
It was great. The intended apartment was a lovely place, quiet, upscale, and with two rooms. Perfect for three studious, quiet people--myself, my high school buddy, and my roommate last year--but much too pricey and spacious for only two. Y didn't even have to decency to call us by phone, using e-mail instead. Worse, she was my roommate and didn't even consult with us before accepting the last minute R.A. position. Wouldn't signing that lease be considered a prior commitment?
Her e-mail:
"I'll be sending over this message over on Gaia later just in case you've already checked Facebook for the day already, but here it is:
"Good news: Earlier today I was contacted by one of the people from the the RA selection commitee and they said they had a job opening as a community assistant over in Segundo which would include room and board just like a regular RA would.
"Bad news: My parents of course found out about it and decided that even though the financial perk of having free food and a place to stay was great, the real clincher was the fact that by taking this job I wouldn't have to commute and spend time on worrying about making my own food. In light of my worst grades ever last quarter, they argued that I should have as much time as possible to focus on studying and seeing as how CAs are only needed to plan events and not do all the RA work, they really pushed me to take the job.
"I really don't know how to phrase this any other way, but it looks like I won't be able to room with you guys at the Willows this year ;_; but we'll definitely have to visit each other lots! I'm really sorry about this. >.< We'll have to talk more later on how the lease thing is going to work out, but I just wanted to get this info to you guys early so that if you need to look for another roomie, you'd have as much time as possible to do it...
"I'm really sorry about this,
Me"
Really, she's 18! That means she's the one responsible, despite her parents being major players. Notice, also, her rather chevalier tone. "Sorry, guys, got a better deal so I was nice enough to let you know now so you can take care of everything, okay? Toodles!" It certainly raised the blood pressure of my family and C's parents, though C seemed pretty laid back about it all--but that's her general attitude towards life, methinks. ^^"
Transcript of our e-mails back and fourth:
I: "I'll be really sad about not seeing you as often, but no worries, you'll see me when ever I'm too lazy to cook. XDDD Or when I want to bug you. Or whenever I just want someone to fangirl with. ;D
On to the bearer of bad news... You signed a legally binding contract with us as a roommate, so that third of each month's rent you were going to pay? You still have to pay it even though you're not living in the Willows.
I know this is a lot of money, so my parents will be contacting your parents about this to hash it all out since I know you all will have arguments about it. That WAS a legal document with provisions and all that you signed. ^^"
At this point, I had thought she'd broken the contract, or something with some sort of consequence at least! Later on, it turns out that there was no protection clause to backing out of the lease before commencement. Like I e-mailed Y, "It's not just the financial situation but rather that you broke your word, your agreement with us that you would be living the 07-08 school year with us. It was that unspoken agreement and for the fact that you were our friend that I trusted you enough not to draw up another contract stating a guarantee that you would see out the lease or pay penalties.
"Y, even though your parents hold the checkbook, as the person who are affected by all these decisions and an adult of 18, you have responsibility as in this as well. That name on the lease you broke so late? It was yours.
"My family and I are not so much angry about the financial issues that arise from your last minute decision, but more about how you broke your word. You accepted the CA position, but that was AFTER you gave your word that you would be leasing with us. Usually, one would have turned down the new offer due to prior commitment. You didn't even speak to us before accepting the CA position, but after the fact--do you treat friends like this all the time? That hurts me.
"I realize how much power your parents have over you, but please Y, as an adult, you must have some say in matters. This was just to let you know about the emotional side of this business matter."
Everything's better, but only after I, my parents, C, and C's parents spent the weekend Y notified us about her change of plans, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday making a LOT of phone calls, worrying, e-mailing for roommates, and driving up to Davis and back. Initially, we planned to rent out the room which, from Y's carefree tone, the labor of finding one fell into our hands. Then plans changed, since C and I really didn't want a complete stranger living with us, and my Mom and I ended up calling various apartment complexes inquiring about any available one room apartments. I got lucky with the place I stayed in over the summer--which resulted in the car trip on Wednesday.
It was horrible, since I had to deal with my probation issue and Mom was on medical leave after the implant of her pace maker a few weeks previous. I had hoped to spend this last month before the lease begins and I return to school just spending time with the family.
What angered me more besides Y's lack of backbone, respect for C and I, and her light-hearted tone regarding this matter (she thought C and I qualified for financial aid when we are in the same fiscal situation), was that when this whole matter was resolved, not only must I return her portion of the deposit, but her family and she does not have to pay a single penny for all that C and I have been through. C and I, for our new lease, must pay another deposit while Y gets her deposit from the broken lease back AND a free dorm and meal plan package as an R.A. on campus this coming school year. Resentful, much?
I can remain friends with Y, for I know how spineless she is in the face of her parents, having lived with her the previous school year. Despite my parents' ire and wishes for me to sever all contact I'll try remain friends with her. Her father, on the other hand, I hope never to see again. He was a patronizing jerk who took advantage of Y, C, and my friendship, and the contract. My parents would never treat any of my friends as he has treated C and I. If I knew worse names to call him, I would. Bastard.
It was partly my fault, though. I trust too easily, thinking that if I treat others as I would myself, they would return the sentiments. It was the reason why I didn't draw up another contract to make sure Y, C, and I would follow through with the contract. I presumed that Y would decline the last minute R.A. position since she had actually signed the lease with C and I. She's not the most knowledgeable about business matters, so I believe it was her father who told her to take it and essentially gave C and I the finger.
This was a good life lesson for me, I guess. I've lived a sheltered life, knowing no emotional entanglements or such until now. I know better now, I hope.
Currently, my mother seeks arbitration of this issue. She wants, and I admit I do too, something in return. We both believe in karma, what goes around, comes around.
I'm actually writing down so I don't forget. I tend to do that repeat the same mistakes, unfortunately.
C, if you see this, it's a purge, okay? Bottled up anger and resentment. I just needed to get this all out. You know I'm not one to usually go on like this.
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no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 03:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-17 05:51 pm (UTC)